A Dog's Life
by Talon3
Summary: What happens when Chandler and Monica become the owners of a dog, or vice/versa. From the dog's POV.
1. Default Chapter

Well this is it my first fan fiction, for Friends anyway, I saw the one where Chandler hates dogs. Well….I had to write this one. Friends is not owned by me. It is owned by NBC. Tell me what you think! BTW: This is from a dog's POV!  
  
  
  
A Dog's Life  
Chapter 1  
  
  
How to start this story? I guess you could say that it really IS a dog's life. You see that is what I am. Yes, I am a dog. A male Irish Wolfhound, which is the biggest dog around, height wise. Oh yeah, my name is Rocky, not that original, but well my man thought of it. And my family's name is Bing…….and this is my story of how I came to, uh, invite myself in on them.   
  
Well….to start off with. Here I was a puppy on the mean streets of New York. Without a care in the world, besides no one cared for me, so why should I have cared for them. Somehow I, a three month year old puppy, stayed alive, stayed ahead of the dog police and regular police in general, the city of New York is pretty strict when it comes to their leash laws.   
  
AS I said, I had no cares…except to stay out of their traps, and other bad toys. I only had to find food, beg for handouts, or accept charity. I hated the last two, so I just stuck with the first one. Besides with my lack of looks, it was hard for people to want to give anything to a poor, starving puppy. But that is okay, I liked relying on myself more. I had no responsibilities, no cares, no worries, I was happy just to get some grub, either by finding it, which meant rummaging through trash cans, borrowing it, or just plain stealing it. Getting a drink from my favorite water fountain in the park, hanging out with the college kids on their campus (they can be such push over for a quick snack), swiping hotdogs, pizzas, sausages and other foods while the owner is doing something else or it is just being deleivered, and then sitting under a bench and take a nap…..it 's a pretty good life.  
  
Except today, I stopped at the park and watched how those 'poor' other cousins of mine were doing. You know, the kind of cousins that you know that you are related to, but try to never acknowledge. IN short the other dogs that are walked about on a leash, made to play stupid games with kids and their adult owners.   
  
Ewwwww….I hate that thought, owners. Anyway, you know the games, where some human throws a stick or a ball and calls out affectionately…….'GO, Fetch IT!' Someone, PLEASE shoot me if that ever happens to me. I am one free dog…..no one can claim me as his or hers…….no annoying kids to go and 'play' with.  
  
Well…..back to the story. After going through my usual garbage cans and finding nothing in them, some locked down, or getting chased from the rest by the angry cooks, and whoever owns whatever store connected to them, I returned to the park to lay down and mope. I watched other kids and their dogs play with each other, the kids hugging, petting and playing with their dogs, I felt suddenly empty. Like I was missing something….awwwww, I knew what it was, I was just hungry. Once I got myself something to eat the I would be fine.  
  
Just then a small kid started toddling over to me, I just sat there and watched him, out of curiosity. The kid pointed to me and called out 'doggie!'. I suddenly felt better, I don't know why, I felt more alive right then , even when I snagged a pizza out of a deliverer's van, and man that pizza had everything on it, I didn't even feel this good.   
  
The mood was rudely interrupted when the kids mother ran over to him, grabbed him by his hand and led him away. What really hurt wasn't her saying, 'that dog is bad' what hurt was: 'we will get you a pure bred prize winning blue blood, not some hound off the streets'. That was when I realized, I had nothing, I was not a prize winning dog, I didn't have a pedigree, I didn't have papers , I even had no friends, so I was nothing. There are times in every beings life when said being starts to mope around, wondering just what they are going to do. I am not talking about the hunger pains in my stomach. I am talking about the dull empty feeling that goes further inside of me.   
  
'grrrrrrrrrrr' right! Food first, think later.  
  
I stalked up to a hot dog vendor……..yuuummmmmyyyy….. They, the hot dogs and sausages, look and smell SOOOOO delicious. Just then the vendor notices me and starts to give chase. I outdistance him in no time flat. What is it with everyone today……is it gang up on the dog day?   
  
I run back into the park and crawl under my usual bench and lay there panting. Just then a man and a woman come and sit down on my bench. They start talking not to mention eating their lunch. Just then the man knocks his food to the ground.  
  
"Dammit, and I am starving!" Hmmmmmm….it smells good…now let's see if it tastes good. Uh, rule for everybody out there., anything that falls on the floor is legally mine, uh, us canines. I start eating it…..awwwwwwww….baby! Heaven, I am in heaven, with this type of food, oh, I could die a happy dog, right now!  
  
"Tell you what why don't we go back to the apartment and get the rest of the food, that is if Joey hasn't eaten it up yet." The young black haired woman then dragged him up and started to led him back toward their apartment.   
  
"Good idea, I am sooooo glad that I married you!" The man then grins and kisses her on her mouth.   
  
She returns the kiss. "I am too. Well, we had better get going if you want some lunch. Besides we have trash to get out."  
  
Well that ended the conversation for me, after they left, I got up and followed them at a safe distance. Hey, if their 'to go' lunch was that good, then their garbage must be the stuff of a doggies dream come true. I followed them to the building where they lived and staked it out. Finally after thirty minutes they left. And I went toward the garbage room.  
  
For lunch the next day, I went back to the same spot. The brown haired man was there again. I sat behind the bench and watched him for the longest time. Finally, he turned toward me, sighed and shook his head.  
  
"Alright, come here pooch. I have some food for you." He then gave me half his sandwich. "Just don't tell Monica what I did." I scarfed it down. He then cocked his head to one side. "Hey, you know what? I think I can count all of your ribs. Tell ya what, here, take the rest of my lunch." He then handed me the rest of his lunch., which consisted of another sandwich. "You know I usually don't socialize with dogs, but I guess you are not so bad, I mean I probably won't see you again. Well, back to work." He then sighed and got up and walked away.  
  
I watched him leave with a mixture of curiosity, longing and a new feeling. I decided to keep an eye on him. Oh, he would see me again, I would make sure of it. I mean any food that is that good, there was no way that it was going to be a one time thing Why? I guess there were more than one reasons, me being lonely, the days were getting colder, and well….he was the only human that had said something nice to me, because he wanted to and he willingly did give me his lunch, and he wasn't like the rest of the humans. He was actually intelligent.  
  
Later on that day, I saw him walking home, he stopped by this little shop with weird smells coming out of it. As he was there, I went to the place where he went into yesterday, someone left the door opened. So I sneaked inside and hid until I saw him, then I would follow him. I had to find out which apartment was his. Maybe he would let me stay there. So there I lay back in the shadows and waited. Finally he came in and went up the stairs, I could tell it was him, by his smell. Once he came into view, I could see the other woman that was with him in the park the other day. They were having an argument. I followed quietly.  
  
"Chandler, what would be so wrong about having a dog." The woman whined. "You know, a nice poodle, a Yorkshire terrier, a beagle , or….."  
  
"MON, those are girly dogs!" Chandler replied, "Besides, we already discussed it."  
  
"No Chandler, you did. I think having a dog would be nice. I mean think of the protection, the company, and when we have kids….it would be a nice pet!"   
  
They then entered their apartment, with me sneaking in behind. They both stopped all of the sudden. Even I could tell the apartment was a mess. No dog in his right mind would consider living here. Even junkyard dogs have higher standards than that. Even street dogs like it a little neat. But this place was well…looked like a landfill.  
  
"JOEY!" They both explained aloud.  
  
The guy they yelled out name came over, "Whatever it is, I didn't do it!" He then gasped aloud after seeing the apartment.  
  
"What happened here?" Joey asked shocked. Just then the chick and the duck made their entrances. "Hey, I was wondering where you two went to! " He then picked them up and headed back from where he came from.  
  
"Wait! If you didn't know where they were…." Chandler began. Then he and Monica looked at each other. "RACHEL!" But it was too late the woman that was evidently Rachel was headed back down the stairs. While all of this was going on, I snuck into their apartment. Found a place to hide and stayed there watching them clean. Which they did after they entered their apartment.  
  
The lady was very neat, so was the man. But I have never seen anyone clean more meticulously than her. Just then she wrinkled up her nose.   
  
"Chandler, what is that smell?" She asked looking around.  
  
"I thought it was from the birds. But now….." He then started to smell around.  
  
Jus then the woman came to where I was at, bent down and saw me. Well…it was nice being in a nice and warm apartment. Back to the streets for me.  
  
"Chandler! Come here!" She screeched aloud in an excited voice. "Look what I found!"  
  
Chandler came over to where we were at and his eyes got big, "That is the same dog at the park that I fed my lunch earlier today." I whined and thumped my tail.   
  
"Awwwwww….the poor thing is half starved to death. Let's feed him. Then we can call around and see about getting him a home." uh hello, I already, like choose the home I want, I mean that is how it works. Isn't it?  
  
Chandler shook his head, "Mon, Mon, Mon! don't you see we will never get rid of him, I mean after we get done feeding him, then he will have to stay here until we find him a new home and by then we will be attached to him. yup, I KNEW he was intelligent  
  
"Well he is going to be fed. And that is that. Look at it this way, Chandler, at least he is no sissy!" And after that she ended the discussion by going over to the refrigerator to hopefully get something out to eat. Let's just say that I never ate better than that night. the lady is not dumb! I am no sissy, and besides she was right, I was hungry  
  
Of course there was a down side, before I was fed, I was cleaned. The bath was something the three of us would never forget. First they hosed me off out side, then they threw an old towel over my head and carried me back inside, up to their apartment, to the bathroom. Got three different types of shampoo out and started on me. I escaped twice. But they always brought me back. AS soon as they were done, Chandler held me down while Monica brushed my hair, while blow drying it. Finally they were done. They then cleaned up the rest of the apartment.   
  
As soon as they were done, Chandler looked me over. "Well…he does look a little better." Chandler cautiously said. Well thanks….. I guess  
  
"Good, then you can take him to the vet tomorrow!" Monica stated cheerfully. vet? Animal doctor? Uh….maybe I should just leave!  
  
Chandler was sitting on the couch and I decided to join him. "What? Why me?" Trying to push me out of his lap. No luck there bud, you are stuck with me  
  
Monica getting annoyed at the dog for jumping on the sofa. "Well he seems to like you." Well, duh! He is after all the only human that I can stand  
  
Just then there was a knocking at the front door. Monica went over to answer it. "Uh, Richard! HI!"   
  
Chandler seemed to tense up, and I knew that this being was bad news. Well, I decided to help Chandler out by getting that guy out of there! Hey, Chandler needed help, besides something told me that Chandler and I were just alike. SO I jumped down from the sofa and went and stood behind Richard, real close, so when he took a step back, he 'accidentally' stepped on me!   
  
At my yelping people seemed to run toward me from all directions. The guy plus another girl from across the hall came as did Chandler and Monica.   
  
"Awwwww…poor puppy." The blond woman said as she carefully petted me.  
  
"Yeah, hey, how could you hurt this poor little guy?" Joey asked bending down with the rest of his friends, also petted me. Oh, yes I was going to like it here.   
  
"Joey's right, this puppy didn't deserve to be stepped on carelessly by you." The blond pointed out.  
  
"Phoebe, you are right." Joey declared.  
  
"But he got in my way!" Richard shouted out. I started whimpering more and then acted like my paw was hurting by limping on it. That worked like nothing else. They all hugged and petted me more, to put it bluntly, it was making him look like the bad guy, the others were eating it all up. That is Monica, Joey and Phoebe. Chandler just frowned while looking carefully at my paw. I think he knew that I wasn't really hurt.  
  
"You should have watched where you where going! Now this poor dog is hurt because of you." Monica chocked out with tears in her eyes.  
  
Richard then shot back, "Oh, he will be alright. He is just a stupid dog." hey dummy, takes one to know one  
  
Phoebe looked up at him and snarled, "You evil, evil man!" oooooohhhhhh……I liked her, she has a soft spot for animals……hmmmmm….I will have to store that to my memory for use next time "First, you hurt this poor dog, then you insult his intelligence. I think that it would be best if you left."  
  
"Phoebe is right. I want you gone." Monica almost yelled out. you heard the lady, now get  
  
"I think you had better leave." Chandler stated aloud, after standing up. think? Just you wait a bit, Chandler, I will soon have you as the *alpha dog around here *alpha dog=the head of the pack, the one in charge, the leader, the one that gives commands  
  
"Yeah." Joey agreed. "I think that is a good idea. During which time Phoebe and I can buy some dog toys, and food." FOOD! I know that this guy and I will get along!  
  
"Good idea, Joey. I will go with you and get other essentials." Monica stated. "Besides there is something I need to pick up at the store."  
  
The others then went to go and buy doggie things for me like a bed, food and water dish, etc. After they left, I couldn't help it, I lifted my leg to the 'big tree'. He turned in disgust and left. Good riddance to you, you pile of trash!  
  
Chandler who was left there bent down and smiled at me and patted me on the head. I had a feeling he KNEW that I was faking it, the whole time. Nope this human was a smart one. In short I don't think that he would be one to 'play' fetch and other stupid activities. It seemed to be that he was just right for me.  
  
"Well, Pooch, I believe this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!" Chandler then grinned as he patted me yet again. Yup I feel the same way toward you, Chandler.  
  
  
  
  
Well…first part done! I hope that you liked. The rest is on it's way, give me a bit. I know that it is a little sloppy, but remember it is my first. Thank you! And please review!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Rocky's 'Pets'

Take off from 'A Dog's Life', a three month year old Irish Wolfhound meets Chandler and decides to live with Chandler and Monica, who think to find him a new home, but of course Rocky plans it a different way. The story picks up in the apartment some time after Monica, Joey and Phoebe have left to buy some things that he needed.  
  
Rocky's 'Pets'  
  
  
About an hour later, after the telephone pole had left, well…..thanks to me hehehehehehe, Monica, Joey and Phoebe arrived back. The girls were carrying bags and Joey was carrying a huge bag of dry dog food(?), I see that I am going to have to give them a few lessons about what I do and do not like. First one is…..I WILL NOT eat dog food! Well…..they are going to have to learn the hard way.   
  
Chandler gets up and kisses his mate, err wife, "Hey hon. What all did you get?" Looking at the bags with a funny look on his face, then his eyes narrow, "And how much did it cost?"  
  
"A dog bed, dog shampoo, dog conditioner," uh….we are NOT going through THAT again! "food dish, water bowl, hairbrush, dog treats, dog biscuits, dog book aimed at his care, an obedience training book," well….you just wasted YOUR money on that one "a dog bed," probably that won't be used, cause I am staying on the bed folks! And if that doesn't work….the couch "new towels and other bathroom accessories to remodel the bathroom." Monica then quickly adds in, "chew toys, which include rawhide bones and the like, a collar and a leash, as well as other important articles. That include air fresheners new cleaning solvents and other articles." Collar and leash. If that they think that they are going to take me for a walk, then they are wrong. They are the ones that will be running  
  
Chandler frowned, "Back up for a minute. You said remodel the bathroom."  
  
"Of course I did Chandler, I mean we can't use the same towels that we used for the dog ,can we." Monica made more of a statement than a question. "I mean if we get new towels then we need new washcloths, if we get new washcloths, then we need designs, because the new ones will not match the old ones, and they will be new, whereas the old ones are wearing down and need to be replaced anyway. I think the best way to do that is by getting everything new from designs and wall paper to the soap!" tell me that she didn't just say 'soap'!  
  
"Soap? What does soap have to do with new towels?" Joey asked confused. With a look on his face that in time would be VERY familiar to me.  
  
"I just couldn't REPLACE the towels. I mean then they wouldn't match. And EVERYTHING is going to match in MY bathroom." Monica stated vehemently.   
  
Chandler frowned even more, "You said your bathroom. It is OUR bathroom. And I hate the fact that you bought all of that and didn't even talk to me."  
  
Phoebe and Joey decided to make a getaway. "Uh, we are just going to go and take the dog out for a walk." Phoebe announced out loud.  
  
"We are?" Joey asked. Phoebe then leaned over and told something to Joey quietly in his ear. Joey then frowned and with a serious expression and a thoughtful look thought about what he just was told. Then he shook his head. "OHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Yeah, me and Phoebe will take the dog for a walk." Definitely NOT the brightest crayon in the box.  
  
"Yeah. And we can discuss names." Phoebe added brightly.   
"That is a good idea, oh, wait!" Joey then walked over and lifted my right hind leg then he put it down. Uh excuse YOU! "And you are every inch a MALE aren't you boy!" HE then slapped my chest.  
  
Phoebe then came over after getting something out of the bag, she then gave me some doggie treats. Which I started on. While I was eating I heard a 'CLICK' and a 'SNAP' As soon as I finished my 'treats' I felt a tug around my neck area. OH NO! I have been LEASHED! Well… before this day is over they will wish they didn't even think of doing that! I WILL make it a walk that they will never forget!   
  
Joey took hold of the leash and started to drag me out of the door, "Well I have an idea for a name for him….."   
  
Phoebe sighed, "It can NOT be Joe, Joseph, or Joey!"   
  
"Awwwww….. Come on Phoebe those are the best names." Joey moaned.  
  
"I said no!" Phoebe answered back. "I say Apollo, or how about George…..or, or, or…"   
  
"Those names do not fit him! They are sissy names." Joey muttered aloud.  
  
"Sissy? Sissy? Sissy? Did you just say sissy?" Phoebe asked aloud. I believe that he did, the only ones that didn't hear him are Chandler and Monica. And they are fighting.  
  
"He needs a manly name. Like….. Bruce, Savage, Fiedo, Arn, Sly….. Or I got it Steve." Joey sang out.  
  
"Arn? Sly? Steve? What kind of names are those?" Phoebe asked aloud.  
  
"Bruce as in Bruce Willis, Arn as in Arnold Schwarinigger?, Sly as in Sylvester Stallone*, and Steve as in …." Before Joey could continue….Phoebe interrupted him. *Spelling is wrong, sorry!  
  
"As in Segal? Joey those names don't fit him. "Phoebe explained as though she was talking to a child.that is right baby, I won't come to any of those names "I say Larry!" NO WAY AM I COMING TO THAT NAME EITHER! I have an idea just call me dog, pooch, or even hey you…..but none of those names. By that time we were out the front door. And bumped into two more of the gang.  
  
"Well…..what have you got here?" A tall man with a whinny voice asked. hmmmmmm….now where have I seen him before, and it was recently  
  
"Oh, cute little doggie" The woman from earlier said. Rachel, that was the one who messed up the apartment.   
  
"Chandler found him and fed him. The dog ended up following him home…..So…" Joey left off.  
  
"So Monica insisted on him staying." Rachel guessed.  
  
"Uh, you could say that." Phoebe answered.  
  
"I thought that Monica wouldn't him staying. Considering how many germs dogs have." The whinny voice stated. You should talk, HEY now I remember you! You are the guy whose food I stole at the university last week. News flash for ya buddy, you can't cook!  
  
Ignoring the man, "Knock it off Ross. So does he have a name?" Rachel asked.  
  
"We were trying to think of a name." Joey stated aloud.  
  
"And it can't be Joey or any variation of that name." Phoebe glared at Joey who looked confused.   
  
"She means sounds like, Joey." Rachel sighed out loud, then quietly, "How does Chandler put up with it and keep his patience?"  
  
Joey mouthed 'oh' then, "Why did you say Chandler?"  
  
"We are going up to see him and Monica." Rachel said innocently enough. Good save  
  
"Monica and Chandler are fighting, so I wouldn't go up there if I were you guys." Phoebe warned.  
  
"Sounds like they need a referee. " Ross committed.  
  
"Uh, Monica decided to redo the bathroom. And didn't bother to tell Chandler that she was and well…..she went and blew a lot of money on towels and other stuff." Phoebe explained.  
  
"Yeah what Phoebe said and soap as well." Joey also had his half cents in.  
  
Rachel's eyes got bigger. "How much did she end up spending?"  
  
Ross gulped, "A money fight? I am staying out of this one."   
  
"Good idea, let's go to Central Perk." Rachel said.  
  
"You guys go, we are walking the dog." Joey said.   
  
"And picking out his name." Phoebe then added, "Minsk." oh lord  
  
"Jean Claude." Joey came back with. ah, no  
  
"I got it!" Rachel screamed out, "Fabio!" I think I am going to upchuck!  
  
"I say Einstein." Ross said aloud. He's kidding right? Please tell me he is kidding!  
  
Then they all started to walk/drag me toward the park…..HMMMMM I will show them! Then I started to run, dragging THEM behind me!  
  
Two hours later we all arrived back at the apartment. Well….I had a nice run. The others didn't like it so much. I dragged them from one part of the park to the other. As soon as we came through the door, I ran inside and jumped on the couch on top of Chandler who was sitting very close to Monica. They both were both wearing what they called robes and seemingly almost nothing else.  
  
As soon as I landed on top of Chandler he tried to push me down, "Hey! Get down Rocky!" Hmmmmm, not a bad name. It is simple but strong. I like it!  
  
"Oh, oh, oh! He likes it! That is his name!" Phoebe squeals out.  
  
"Sly Stallone as Rocky." Joey shook his head yes.  
  
"I meant in Rocky and Bullwinkle." Chandler explained.  
"Typical/You would/ etc" from Monica, Ross, and the rest.  
  
"Well, It is decided, his name is Rocky." Monica called out. "I like it. He looks like a Rocky."  
  
Ross frowned, "I thought that you were both fighting."  
  
Chandler grinned and Monica blushed. "Well….we just got done making up, out and…." Chandler was cut off by Ross.  
  
"Ewwwwwww…..I did not need to hear that. I am going to go and pick up Ben. And before I bring him over here, the dog has to go to the vet. I am not going to infect my son with that dogs germs. Who knows what he has got." Ross explained. the guy needs to loosen up!  
  
Monica then smiled, "Chandler is taking him to the vet tomorrow."  
  
"I am?" Chandler asked.  
  
"Unless you want to sleep on the couch." Monica smiled. She had him good  
  
"Alright. Hey Joe….." Chandler started.  
  
"No way, man." Joey then walked out. The others then made their excuses then left. I knew that they had learned their lessons after I got done with them  
  
Chandler looked at Monica, "What was that all about?" He would find out tomorrow.  
  
  
Tomorrow came soon enough. They ended up locking me in the extra room for the night. After they found me asleep on the sofa. Well…I guess I will leave them a 'present' for them in the morning.  
  
After Chandler ate breakfast and I turned up my nose at the dog food, Monica gave a list of questions to Chandler to relay to the vet, kissed him on his lips and then went off to do the shopping. Chandler then drug me to the car and proceeded to take me to the vets.  
  
There I was given everything from a checkup to shots, having bloodwork taken, you name it. I also had some tags that were place on my collar. The vet then informed Chandler that I had to have a license and for us to come back later to get the results back. Later on in the day (I know, it takes longer, but my story, tough)  
  
WE went for a walk. Or I walked him.   
  
Chandler was hard pressed to keep up with me, "Now I know why the others didn't want to come." Chandler almost moaned.   
  
Finally he had me slow down and he bought some hamburgers for us and we went and sat on the park bench, MY bench. I Ate like there was NO end in site.   
  
"Hungry, huh? Guess you would be skipping breakfast. But you don't like that food. I guess that means extra food needs to be cooked." Chandler then ate the final bite of his burger. I KNEW there was a reason I liked him!  
  
A couple of hours later, we were at the vets, again. (sigh)  
  
Chandler just got done asking the vet every question and some others on the list.   
  
The vet then handed him some type of medicine. "These are heartworm pills. Follow the directions on the box. He doesn't have heartworms bad. These pills will get rid of the worms. If you don't then they will eat his heart. Anymore questions?"  
  
"Yes what kind of dog do you think he is? What size will he get to? How much food should he eat? What can Monica and I expect?" Chandler finished.  
  
"Well…I can't be sure. But he looks like an Irish Wolfhound. That breed gets to be as tall as a woman's shoulders who is about 5'3", feed him about four cups of dry dog food a day, at the least. Plus two cans of dog food. And as for expecting anything. They are a very affectionate breed and are very loyal to their masters." Masters? No way, Jose! "Good towards children, very intelligent and lively. Make sure he has a place to play at, as in running. He needs exercise. And a lot of it Here is some information on the type of the dog. Oh, and Mr. Bing, you might want to consider getting him neutered." The vet concluded.   
  
Chandler made a face, "I will talk it over with Monica, later."   
  
As we left the vets, Chandler said aloud……"Later as in sometime in five years from now."  
  
That night, Chandler and Monica were going over the information packet.   
  
"What have we gotten ourselves into?" Chandler asked aloud after they both were done with the packet.  
  
"Ownership of a dog." Monica mumbled aloud, still reading.  
  
"Oh, we won't be the owners. HE will led US around, HE will try to take OUR couch away from us, HE will also help to increase OUR food bill, HE will find that he likes eating OUR good shoes and clothes, He will try to take over OUR bed from US! And……." Chandler was then cut off by Monica kissing him. Man is he ever right  
  
"HE is not allowed in OUR bedroom. Besides, we will find him a home." Monica then grinned. Chandler then picked her up and proceeded to take her into the bedroom. Oh NO they won't, I will make sure of that! I will find a way to make them want me to stay.  
  
  
How will Rocky convince them to keep him around? And the Bings find out some news that is earth shattering. What will it be, that affects everyone's lives?  
  
  
  



	3. A Real Home: Part 1

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
As soon as they left to the other room, I jumped up on the couch exactly where Chandler had been sitting earlier. There was something in his scent that made me like him, hmmmm have to think on that one later on, now, I have to get the couch comfortable for me. I then proceeded to move around and rake my fingernails over the area I wanted to lay down on. I finally got a spot just right and lay down and fell fast asleep. Or I tried to sleep but the moans and grunts from the other room kept me awake, I then sighed and I cut out the noise and fell asleep.  
  
Later That Night  
Three hours later….  
  
"CHANDLER!" (Man Monica's voice was HIGH) "GET YOUR BUT OUT HERE NOW! AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS MUTT OF YOURS!"  
  
Chandler came out of the bathroom wearing only a towel, "Monica, why do I have the feeling that when he does something that you don't like he is going to be my dog, but when he does something good, he is going to be yours?"  
  
Monica pointed to where I was laying, "I want him off MY sofa BEFORE he scratches the rest of it up, NOW!" (Oh, my claws. I forgot how sharp they are.)  
  
Chandler just sighed and shook his head. "Come on Rocky, get down." He took me by the collar and pulled me down. He didn't have to pull hard.  
  
Monica pulled her robe even closer and spoke in a very soft voice, (right then and there I should have known that I was really in trouble), " Chandler, I want you to get on the telephone and call every single person that you know and ask them if they want a dog." (I am REALLY in trouble. I mean T-R-O-U-B-L-E!)   
  
"Monica, come on. It can be….." Chandler was then cut off.  
  
"What,? Replaced? Chandler, let me put it this way. Either the dog goes or your NEW bed will be the couch." Monica declared.  
  
"Monica, he is only a puppy. Besides, he can be trained .(Hey, speak for yourself buddy)." Chandler went over to hug her, she pushed him away.  
  
"Chandler, I will not have that dog messing up my apartment. IF the dog stays fine. Here are the new rules, He stays only in this area of the apartment (I can live with that one, I guess), He will NOT get on the furniture (Only when they are around, otherwise, what they don't know won't hurt them), HE will eat the dry dog food that was bought for him (I'd rather starve!), YOU will take him to obedience school (More than likely, from what I have already observed, Chandler will take me to the park), he WILL be trained (That is what she thinks, I will end up training YOU guys), HE will not chew anything (Wasn't planning on it, just make sure to feed me some good food), and if you don't do that or don't find a place for him to live, then I hope you thorghly enjoyed yourself tonight (why do I have a feeling that poor Chandler is in for it?), because you WILL NOT touch me EVER AGAIN! (ewwww…the ULTIMATE threat!)" With that Monica stalked into the bedroom and slammed the door, a couple of minutes later the door reopened and she threw out a pillow and blanket. She then slammed the door and locked it.   
  
Chandler then sighed picked up the pillow and blanket and fixed his bed on the couch. He then looked at me, "Listen, Rocky, I am sorry, but she is right. (no, Chandler, don't say it!) I think that I ought to find you a better home (I like it here, just fine). I mean wouldn't you like a big yard to run around in (I have the park that I lead you to) Kids to play with (Joey and Phoebe serve me well enough). Rocky, she is right it would be best if you got a new home. (But I already choose you guys out) I mean I really don't like dogs. (So? I don't like humans) But it is strange, you are a dog I like. (It is strange for me as well, YOU are the ONLY human I trust.) Oh well. See you tomorrow." Chandler then sighed, and lay down on the couch and started to fall asleep.  
  
I then half sighed and half whined, Chandler then absently patted my head. "Don't worry, Rocky. It will look brighter in the morning." He then clutched the blanket tighter and fell asleep. I couldn't sleep, it wasn't fair! I finally made a connection with a human and it turns out that he is going to ditch me, well I will find a way to stay! Later on, I jumped up on the couch and positioned myself around his legs and soon fell asleep.  
  
  
Next morning  
  
"CHANDLER!" (Oh no, now I wonder what Monica is yelling about this time?) "Get that dog off my sofa and take him out!"  
  
Chandler sat up looking at me, I was laying part way on his legs, "Mon, it is kinda early."  
  
"I just cleaned up a mess he left. (oh yeah, that was from the last night that you guys locked me in the bedroom) Now get up and WALK him! (Or more like I lead him)" She then threw his clothes at him. Chandler then grumbled, got off the sofa and got dressed. He then took me out.  
  
Once outside, we walked around for a bit, after I headed the call, we went back inside. Once inside we walked up to the apartment. We walked inside, Monica was sitting at the table with the 'telephone pole' that I 'got' or took care of yesterday.  
  
"Chandler, Richard was telling me an interesting story of what Rocky did to him yesterday" (Yup, that was me!). Monica looked down at me with a frown on her face that clearly said that she didn't like me. (Oh, come on! He doesn't belong here. HE is upsetting Chandler, WHO belongs here!) "You were there, Chandler, tell me what happened."  
  
Chandler looked at me with pity, "I guess he needed to use the restroom." (A little trick, I can do it at will…hehehe)  
  
Richard looked at Monica, "What did I tell you? (tattle tale) I also asked around about that dog . (Uh, Oh) He is wanted not only by animal control (The Bastards!), but also by the authorities (Hey they can't prove nothing!). They have linked him to numerous dog bites, dog fights and other disturbances. (hey, I didn't bite anyone who didn't deserve it, the fights were brought on by other dogs invading MY territory, and well those other disturbances, I mean I had to eat, and well those cute female dogs were in heat! I just couldn't turn them down, they were begging for it! So what that their owners didn't like it. I mean when they want it, they will get it! From me, more than likely! Hey, it is MY territory!) There is even an award out for his capture." Richard then smiled smugly. (I don't like where this is going. He is WAY too happy for my own peace of mind.)  
  
"I just took him to the vet, and he says there is nothing wrong with him." Chandler defended me. (Thanks Chandler)  
  
Monica sighed, "Chandler, it is just not that. I think we had better turn him in. I am sure that animal control can find him a new home." (But I am happy here)  
  
"You KNOW that they will put him down. You said it yourself earlier, his is ONLY a puppy." Chandler was reaching the end of his rope. I walked up next to him and leaned up against him. (Thanks pal)  
  
"It will be for the best." Richard said simply. (You are ONLY doing this because you don't like me and Chandler)  
  
"For who, Richard? For me and Monica or for you?" (Yup, he gets it.) Chandler asked crossing his arms.   
  
"It doesn't matter, I already called animal control, Chandler. You see I care about Monica." Richard sat back and smirked. (JERK! Chandler cares about her MORE than you ever will. You ONLY care about her because she is a possession that YOU want.)  
  
Chandler looked over to Monica, "Mon?" (Awwwww….no Chandler! Stand up for not only me, but for your self as well!)  
  
"I told him to call, Chandler." Monica softly said as she looked down at her coffee cup. (Crap!)  
  
Chandler opened his mouth to say something and instead took me by the leash that was still attached to the collar and we left the apartment.   
  
For about half an hour we walked around we finally ended up walking down to the park and sat at the bench where he first fed me at. He looked out into space pained, as I looked at him, I then put my right paw on his left knee. (Come on Chandler, I know that you can do something to make this right) Finally, he ran his hands through my hair and looked at me with sad eyes.  
  
"You know, I didn't want this to happen to you, right?" Chandler asked in a quiet voice. He then hugged me and then took my collar off and pushed me away. "Good luck, Rocky. GO on now, GET!" Seeing that I wouldn't leave. "Come on Rocky, if you don't leave, then they will take you and put you to sleep. I usually don't care about dogs, but with you, you are not just a dog." (Chandler you are not just an annoying human to me either. That is why I can't leave you)  
  
"Chandler, I am so sorry." Monica had come up behind him. She hugged him from behind before kissing him.  
  
"Sorry, for what Mon? Sorry about what you have done to Rocky, sorry about you making a decision like this without talking to me, yet again? What is it this time?" Chandler spat out. (That is right Chandler, stand up and be heard!)  
  
"Chandler…." Monica began.  
  
"No look Monica. For the first time in my life I found a dog that I can relate to. And now this." He sat there and patted me. I didn't move, make a sound or anything. He was batting for me, a long shot that I am.   
  
Richard then came up with a man in uniform, "This is Officer Johnson, he will take him to the pound."   
  
Officer Johnson then started to put something around my neck, Chandler stopped him. "I want to adopt him. And I will pay any fines that are levied against him." (Oh, thank you Chandler!)  
  
"WHAT!?!" Everyone screamed out, it seemed that they were surprised.  
  
"Uh, you want this dog?" Officer Johnson stuttered out.  
  
Chandler smiled, "I most certainly do. Where do I have to go and pay the fines at and what kind of fines are they?"  
  
"Uh, you are sure about the dog, sir?" The animal control officer asked again, not quiet believing what he heard the first time or if he heard it right.  
  
Chandler shook his head yes and started to put the collar back on my neck. I did something that I have never done before in my life, I went up and licked him in the face.   
  
Officer Johnson smiled, "Well…..I think all you have to do is to come to the human society and to the city hall and get the paperwork done and get the fines paid. Then you have to register him and get him a license. It shouldn't be much, I don't think. Personally, I actually don't believe half of those tales about him after meeting him." He then patted me. He then took the dog catchers leash and left. (Yup, it will work out after all!)  
  
Chandler turned to Richard, "Now what were you doing at the apartment anyway?" Chandler had a good hold of me, fearing I might do a repeat of what I did to the 'beanpole' yesterday and with good reason too, because I would be more than glad to.  
  
Richard then replied, "Well….I stopped by to ask if you two would join me and my daughter and son-in-law for dinner next Saturday night, a celebration. My daughter Michelle is pregnant, again."  
  
Chandler sighed and shook his head. Monica looked at him carefully, "You know what Richard? Chandler is right. I am married now and well….it wouldn't be right and it would feel very weird. So no."  
  
"Fine then. I tried to help with the dog problem. Next time I won't." Richard stated grumpily.  
  
"Richard, I do NOT want to see you anywhere around the apartment! You don't belong there. She is NOT your wife!" Chandler exclaimed, crossing his arms. Richard huffed and pouted off.  
  
"Chandler!" Monica almost screamed out.  
  
"Why not Mon, you made some pretty important decisions over the last couple of days without my say. So now I am calling that favor you owe me." Chandler said simply. (Whoa, having me around you has helped!)  
  
"Chandler! He is an old friend of mine!" Monica cried out.  
  
"Wrong. HE is your OLD, as in dating back to the dark ages, boyfriend! I am your husband, Monica! And I think that I have the right to have a say about who comes in OUR home and who doesn't! And I won't have him in OUR home. And we are both to be involved in the decision making process from now on." (Way to go Chandler!)  
  
"Chandler, uh……" Before Monica could continue.  
  
"No, more Monica. You really hurt me when you don't ask my opinion about anything that important. From now on we both talk EVERYTHING over. In short WE are a team. We work together, and that includes decisions as well."   
Chandler then bent down and patted me again. "Well…you have been out long enough, Rocky. Let's go on home." Chandler then looked at Monica, "We can talk more in depth about this when we arrive."  
  
When we arrived home, Chandler asked Joey if he could look after me, him and Monica had some important decisions to make. Joey put those annoying birds in one of the rooms and shut the doors. And for the rest of the afternoon we played together. Right about midway, Phoebe came in and also played with us. These two are like kids, themselves. In short, it looks as though Chandler and Monica have some ready made kids, already.  
  
A little later Phoebe and Joey were both reading from an obedience training book and trying to get me to do some of those tricks in the book. (Like that would EVER happen.)  
  
"Alright, Rocky. Now 'SIT'!" Phoebe demanded trying to push my hind end down on the floor, I locked my legs. (I am MY OWN master!)  
  
"No, Phoebes, let's try another way. I think he doesn't know what the word sit is. I think we should show him." Joey reasoned aloud. (Right, I KNOW that I don't look that stupid) Joey and Phoebe started to sit, saying 'SIT' the whole time. Quiet amusing, really all I did was stand there and watched the entertainment. It was during this time that Chandler and Monica walked in apparently done with their talk for the time being and stood there watching the whole thing with looks of amusement on their faces. I went and stood next to them and we all watched very curious at what they were doing.  
  
Joey stopped what he was doing and walked over to where we were, followed by Phoebe.   
  
Chandler looked at them with a glint in his eye, "Are you kids practicing for the egg laying Olympics or what?" (Good one, Chandler! But I would have said a new type of exercise routine.)  
  
Joey just answered, "No, man. We are trying to teach Rocky a few tricks." He then looked thoughtful, "Hey, shouldn't we enter the Chick in the egg laying competition?" (Let me guess, you keep him around for mere diversion reasons, right?)  
  
"No Joey, I don't think that the chick would do all that well, I mean only female chickens lay. Besides with all that competition I think that would be too much for him." Phoebe answered back knowingly. (Uh, let me guess she is the smarter of the two. Right?)  
  
"So, what were you two trying to teach him?" Monica asked. (Where do I begin?)  
  
"Well, we thought by showing him how to do those he might learn them better." Joey confessed. (Well… I learned where I can go if things get boring and I am in need of some entertainment of watching Joey and Phoebe tricks)  
  
Phoebe then brought up a different topic, "What were you guys discussing?"  
  
"We are going to keep Rocky, but…." Chandler was then cut off by Monica. (Whoooo-Hooooo!)  
  
"Chandler is going to clean up after him and take him to the vet and for walks. Rocky is HIS dog." Monica stated a fact. (Well… uhmmmm, that is where we differ on our theories of who owns who.)   
  
Just then there was a knock at the door. Joey answered it. There stood a girl out there holding five pizzas. (Uh oh, I recognize her. She was the one I stole a pizza from last week. *SIFF* And it smelled like that pizza I had. *SNIFF, SNIFF* Hmmmmm….it IS the pizza from last week! OH, HEAVEN!)  
  
The girl handed the pizzas to Joey who took them to the counter and sat them down. "Uh, that will be $74.93." The girl read from a slip of paper.  
  
Joey turned toward Chandler, "Uh, Chandler…." (Oh, so he is both the smart one as well as the one to go to when in trouble and if something is needed)  
  
Chandler groaned, "Why am I not even surprised?" He then reached for his check book and wrote a check, and gave the girl a tip. The others started tearing into the pizzas. Just what I wanted to do.  
  
"Uh, thanks, Mr. Bing." Just then she noticed me looking at the pizzas with undoubtedly a hungry look on my face. "HEY, that was the dog that stole a pizza of yours from me last week!" (Uh, I prefer to think of it as borrowing, or better yet a lifelong loan.) "He snuck up to the delivery car, grabbed it while my back was turned and ran off with it."  
  
Chandler and the girl looked at me. (What? I was hungry! I mean it is such a good pizza!)  
  
Finally Chandler sighed, "Do you have any extra pizzas left over that I could buy off of you?" (Chandler what are you doing?)  
  
The girl frowned, "Uh, yes sir. I have three." (OK. And that is how relevant?)  
  
Chandler then took some money out, "How much for all of them?"   
  
"Uh, I don't know." She looked at Chandler like he was nuts or something. (Hey! NO ONE can think that about him! Except me.)  
  
"How about $38?" Chandler asked. (You are getting more pizzas! That means more food left over, and that means more food for me! Chandler YOU are a GENIUS!)  
  
She then smiled, "Deal, I will go and get them!" She then turned and left, returning with them a bit later. He gave her the money and she left. After she left Rachel and Ross came in and started eating as well as everyone. And me being me, I snuck off one of the 'Joey specials', Joey wasn't too pleased about that. But he got over it. Just as soon as I found one of his missing tapes.  
  
"Ohhhhh….it is my favorite missing episode of Baywatch!" Joey exclaimed happily. "I LOVE you Rocky!" He then hugged me tightly. (Me you to, Joey. Now let up so I can BREATHE!)  
  
Besides three of the pizzas we already had, being the Joey specials, there was also a vegetarian, and a cheese those were the ones that 'we' ordered, the others consisted of another cheese, a meat lovers, and a supreme. We all ate good that night. Of course It looks as though Chandler was true to his word about the food thing. Let's just say I have never been so full before, ever. Although, it looked as though I might have to fight Joey for the leftovers, tomorrow. On that note, I am NOT surprised.  
  
Later on that night, Chandler was in Monica's good graces again, so he slept in their room. The door was cracked a bit so for a while I didn't get much sleep that night because of the noises they were making. Finally, I was able to fall asleep.  
  
I slept pretty good, until I heard a noise. It wasn't that loud, just a scratch or two, then the door knob was being jiggled, finally the door opened as far as it would go, stopped by the chain. (Uh, oh! Better inform Chandler!)  
  
I got up off the sofa and slipped quietly navigating the dark room into Chandler and Monica's bedroom. (Hey, Chandler, buddy. Better wake up. Something is wrong.) I tried nudging Chandler, when he didn't respond, I licked him, he woke up and pushed me away, I then jumped on him. Now that woke him and Monica up at once.  
  
"Wha…., Rocky? GET DOWN!" Chandler moaned and pushed me off. (But Chandler, buddy…..) Just then we all heard the chain give way. Chandler and Monica jerked even more awake and looked at each other.  
  
Just then a dark clothed figure ran in, pointing a gun at Chandler and Monica. Luckily, he didn't see me, yet.  
  
"Get up! MOVE!" The threatening figure yelled out. Monica and Chandler had no choice. But to move, they both got up carefully out of bed, Chandler moved in front of Monica. I knew that Chandler was going to protect his mate, no matter the cost. And I was going to protect the BOTH of them, no matter the cost to me!  
  
"Living room, NOW!" The dark clothed man yelled again. Chandler and Monica both walked out only wearing their PJ's, followed by the intruder. I silently ended up being the end of the odd train. (NO WAY was this prep going to hurt either one of them!)  
  
The jerk had his gun aimed at Chandler. "After I get rid of you, you are all mine." He looked at Monica with a sneer on his face. I softly padded to where I was almost in between the prep and my 'family'. He still didn't see me.  
  
"Now, say goodbye to each other…" The jerk sneered. He then cocked the gun, aimed it at Chandler, and it was then that I made my move. It all happened so fast and yet everything else seemed to be going in slow motion.   
  
I first growled, and then leaped right at the man. He screamed and I heard a shot ring out and then I felt a pain in my shoulder. I didn't concentrate on the pain. I focused on the man that I knocked down and me biting him. Right then the lights came on and I heard Chandler's voice as well as Monica and Joey. At first I could hear them well enough, but then everything was starting to get strange, the voices were becoming distorted and the everything was blurry. And then blackness and then finally nothing, no pain and then………..  
  
  
**************  
  
I will try and get the next part written sometime within the week.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. A Real Home: Part 2

Sorry about taking so long with this fic. You might want to go back to refresh your memory of the fic. Hope you like. Please review. Oh, yeah the end of it is a run down, of sorts.  
  
  
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PAIN! Even before I opened my eyes, all I felt was pain. Then I opened my eyes. Everything was still hazy. But I could make out voices.  
  
Chandler: "Thanks for your help, Gary." (Who is Gary?)  
  
Gary?: "No problem. Just be glad that my cousin's a vet." (Oh no, not another vet.) I then felt myself being lifted by Chandler. I could tell it was him by his smell.  
  
Monica then came forward with a blanket. "Here you go, Rocky. This will keep you warm." (Thanks, Monica.) "We will get you to the vet, get you fixed up and get you home."  
  
Joey then entered, "Are you guys ready to go?"   
  
A police officer, "We will give you a lift to the vet. This wonderful dog helped nab the Cut Throat Cat Burglar." (I did?)  
  
Monica patted my head. "Thanks officer Johnson. Rocky just saved Chandler's life as well as mine." She then kissed my forehead. (Oh, so you actually LIKE me now!!!!) We all left the apartment. Joey patted me as did Rachel and Phoebe. Ross finally took his hand and patted me as well. (Please, don't strain yourself) Monica and Chandler walked down the stairs carefully with Gary following us.   
  
"Don't worry, Rocky. I will make sure that you get the best of care. I promise." Chandler swore. I tried to lift my head in appreciation, but all I could manage was to whine and to slightly wag my tail. Even that was too much. I then blacked out again.  
  
  
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Nothing. That feeling ran through me like nothing else had. I didn't even want to open my eyes. Sleep was calling me, and I never turned it down. Besides, my shoulder felt stiff.  
  
"Rocky. Come on pal, wake up." Chandler's muffled voice was calling me from my slumber. Who to listen to? Sleep was an old friend of mine, I could easily go back to sleep. No cares, no worries. "ROCKY, PLEASE WAKE UP!" Chandler sounded desperate. I sighed. Might as well wake up. I could always go back to sleep. So I opened my eyes.  
  
"ROCKY!" Monica cried out. She had been crying. There were tear marks running down her face. She and Chandler then hugged me. (TOO TIGHT, A LITTLE TOO TIGHT!) They let up. But they didn't let me go.  
  
"Good, he is awake." A young woman in a white coat said. "I was afraid that we used too much knock out gas."  
  
"YOU WERE AFRAID!?!" Chandler's voice raised. "HE DIDN'T ALMOST MAKE IT BECAUSE OF YOU!" Chandler was almost hyperventilating. (Easy there, pal)  
  
"I am not used to being the one to administer the gas. The one who administers the gas is upstate this weekend." The doctor calmly told him. "But if it makes you feel any better. You can take him home. Just follow my instructions and call me if anything else happens." (It will certainly make ME feel better)  
  
"Thank you." Monica said, quietly as she tucked a blanket around me again. "Chandler, let's get Rocky home." She then petted me and kissed Chandler on the check. (She evidently knew how to defuse Chandler.) Chandler sighed and then picked me up and left. Monica stayed behind to talk to the doctor.  
  
"ROCKY! You are fixed up! Huh, pal!" Joey was there He ran his hand up and down my head. (Great to see you too, Joe)  
  
"Yeah, Joey. Now as soon as Monica gets out here, we are going home." Chandler explained. (I guess this means I can REALLY stay)  
  
Monica then walked out, "Ok, everything is settled. Now let's all go home." She smiled and patted my head. (Guess this mean I am back in your good graces, huh) We then left.  
  
After arriving home, Chandler took me to their bedroom and laid me down on a comfortable chair bed (which held some extra covers), that Joey drug in there. They referred to it as 'Steve'. Monica entered with some liquid type food, which she fed me by way of an eyedropper. And for some reason I couldn't stop my eyelids from closing…….  
  
  
**************  
  
I remember opening and closing my eyes frequently for a while. Then, after what seemed like ages, I opened my eyes for good and looked around. I was laying on the chair surrounded by blankets and on top of a big, comfortable, fluffy pillow. I heard Chandler in another room. I rose only to fall back down again. Okay, I am stiff. Now what? I will try again. I lifted myself up and on unsteady legs, jumped down from the chair and stumbled out the door into the living room.  
  
"HEY, BUDDY!" Joey ran over and started to hug me. (Yeah, good to see you too. Now, STOP CHOKING ME!) Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe all came over to me I got hugs from all of them. Or rather they were squeezing me to death.  
  
"Guys, I think he needs to breath." Chandler cautioned everyone. (Thanks, Chandler. ) They let up. Chandler then picked me up and carried me to the sofa. And oddly enough Monica did not say anything about me being on the couch. Everyone but Monica followed me and surrounded us both.   
  
It was then that Rachel walked in carrying a bag. I would be more surprised if she walked in without a shopping bag. I mean that was like telling dogs NOT to like meat, it just can't be done. "Awwww…..he is up!" Rachel then ran over and choked me as well. Finally pulling back, she grabbed something out of the bag. "Look what I bought the hero!" She pulled a dog sweater out of the bag. (A DOG SWEATER! I HAVE NEWS FOR YA, I AM NOT WEARING THAT!)  
  
"NO!" Monica came over to see what she had. "Rachel, you KNOW how I feel about dogs dressed as humans!" (Thank you, Monica!)  
  
"But it will keep him warm in the winter! And it is a designer dog sweater!" Rachel pleaded. (To keep from wearing that thing, I can always lift my leg to it.)  
  
"No." Monica then brought something over in a big bowl and sat it down on the couch on top of a towel she put there. I sniffed. (FOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  
  
"But, it is a Ralph Lauren original, made especially for dogs." Rachel tried to sell the sweater. (Then let that guy wear it. But I am not going to!)  
  
"NO!" Monica then ran her hands through my hair, "Rocky, start in." I didn't wait a moment longer and started to chow down. (OH, cut up pieces of meat! REAL stew meat as well! Not the phony stuff!)  
  
"But…."Rachel tried again.  
  
"NO! And NO is final!" Monica was persistent. (Thank you for both ways Monica!) It was so good that I actually licked the bowel clean. Monica took the bowel and set it back in the kitchen. Monica then turned her attention to Chandler. "Honey, take Rocky out for a walk so that he does not use the restroom anymore on my floor. And you have to clean it up."  
  
"I do that anyway." Chandler mumbled. (Uh, oh. You just better hope that she did NOT hear you say that.) He put on the leash and instead of leading me out, he picked me up.  
  
"What did you say?" Monica asked with her eyebrow raised.  
  
"How long do you want me to stay away?" Chandler asked used to thinking fast on his feet. (Good going, buddy!)  
  
"He needs some fresh air and to head the call of nature. You decide." Monica want to wash her hands to prepare dinner. (See Chandler, she CAN be a pushover!)  
  
Chandler made his way to the door carrying me. "Here, I will go with you." Joey then ran ahead and opened the door for us both. (Thanks, buddy.)  
  
  
***********  
  
During the walk, a lot of people around the neighborhood stopped and patted me and gave me food, dog toys and blankets to take back. While Chandler carried me, Joey carried everything else. So after the walk, when we arrived back at the apartment, I had quite a few items, great fully given to me by all the other neighbors.   
  
They called me their hero, their neighborhood dog and even a man by the name of Gunther said that I could come into the coffee house and he would have two muffins for me when the others went there. In short I became the celebrity of the block. And it looked like that I was welcomed wherever I would go around that area.  
  
************  
  
A day later, three men in plain clothes and two in uniforms arrived. Two of the men in plain clothes took pictures while the other man in plain clothes, or someone important in government, gave me a citation, or a plaque, one of the men in uniform, a police chief, a medal for bravery. And the other in uniform, which I assumed was the head of the humane society, even gave me a license that said on it that I am an honorary K-9. SO if a dog catcher would catch me, he would have to take me straight back to where Chandler and Monica live. And they would not be fined. I guess it was the city's way of thanking me for helping to catch that perpetrator.  
  
For a while my world with Chandler, Monica, Joey, Phoebe, Rachel and even Ross was perfect. I was the center of their world and a lot revolved around me. My world was perfect. Until I got some news one day that would change my life. I guess nothing good lasts forever.  
  
************  
  
  
And what would that news be????? Just wait and see. Hopefully it will not be too long until I write the next part. Please review……… 


	5. Hold On Your Dreams

Hey folks, sorry it took me sooooooo long to get back to this fic! I hope that you enjoy it and the others that I am going to quickly type out. But remember, if you do not review, then I will stop writing fics all together after I get these done. It is your choice. All you have to do is to say whether it is ok or not.  
  
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Four months after the attack……..  
  
It took a while, but soon enough, I was upon my feet again and running around. Soon the little incident was forgotten. I mean it was still in my mind, just barely. But I had forgotten it.  
  
Chandler and Monica had gotten into another argument. No surprise there. I really felt for Chandler. Every time he came home from work ,he would drag himself in and flop down on a chair. Monica would yell at him for being lazy. He would tell her how much he hates his job and so on. And the fight would then be on.  
  
One time in the middle of the day, Chandler entered the apartment carrying a box and happy. Monica walked out of the bedroom in the clothes that she used to go to work in.  
  
"Chandler what are you doing? You are suppose to be at work."  
  
"I quit." Chandler grinned.  
  
"You quit?" Monica's voice was high and strained.  
  
"Yup, got sick of it and quit. I mean you have a job where you are happy at. Why can not I?"  
  
"Because, because I said so. You get your but back to that office building and beg for your job back right now, Chandler Bing!"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Chandler!"  
  
"I don't want to. Couldn't even if I wanted to. I told them to kiss my undercarriage before I left."  
  
"What are you going to do for money. Like rent, utilities and food?"  
  
"I am going to get another job, Mon." Chandler grinned. He then went around to hug Monica. She pushed him away.  
  
"Until you do get another job and act like a responsible provider or head of the household, you will sleeping the other room." Monica turned around and got her coat and left.  
  
Chandler didn't waste no time, he went to the bedroom, pulled out a suitcase and started packing. He then wrote Monica a note, left it on the table and started to walk out the door.   
  
But stopped when I pushed up against him. "Alright, let me get your leash."   
  
After getting the leash put on the harness, he then left the apartment building and we both walked toward the ritzy part of the city near the big park (Central Park) and stopped at a house. He then extracted a key from his pants pocket and opened the door, and led me inside. Once he turned on the lights, he went upstairs to a room and I followed and dropped his bag on the bottom of the bed. And sank down in a chair.   
  
I came and put my head on his knee. Hey, Chandler it's alright, everything is going to work out, you'll see.  
  
As if he read my mind, "It is not going to workout. You see all they want me to do is to be Chandler Bing, office drone. No one cares about me and my hopes and dreams. Well, no one except you." He then scratched me behind the ears. "Right about now they probably have found the letter, and are all telling Mon what kind of jerk I am and how right she is." Chandler sighed and then got up and went and laid down on the bed and held a pillow close and sighed into it. I jumped up and laid down next to him and soon we were both in dreamland.  
  
When I woke up, I could tell that Chandler was still deep in dreamland, so I decided to explore. The house was huge! I mean it was a three story townhouse, why would it not be huge? Some of the rooms were carpeted, while others had a hard wood floor, I could not resist running and sliding on the long hallway cause of that. Mark Hamill, eat your heart out!  
  
All the furniture was overstuffed and comfortable. I tried out each and every piece of furniture and found the sofa would do for me. I did not even have to prepare it to lay on! Like I had to on some of the others. Talk about service! This was a doggie's dream house come true!   
  
I decided I was hungry and went to the kitchen to look for food and started pulling stuff out of the cabinets after I got them opened. When I saw there was nothing, I tackled the refriderator. I somehow was able to open it. I pulled out eggs, meat of all kinds, milk and other items.  
  
As I was doing this I heard a scream. "Get out of my house you mangy mutt!" I turned my head and saw a frying pan being thrown across the room and ran like crazy to get out of the room with the person behind me welding a broom. I ran upstairs and into Chandler's room and jumped directly on him."  
  
What happened next is hard to tell. Chandler who was just waking up after all that noise that he heard downstairs ended up with me in his lap and a broom was being brought across my backsides.  
  
"Get off my son, you MONGRAL!" Oh, so your Chandler's mom.  
  
"Mom, mom. STOP!" The hitting then stopped. "Mom, this is my dog, Rocky, Rocky this is mom." Nice meeting you, *mom*  
  
"Alright fine, I have two questions, what are you doing here and did you know that your dog has torn up my house?"  
  
"Awwww it can't be that bad." Do *YOU* even KNOW me?  
  
Once we had all walked downstairs. "Alright, so it could use some improvement." Courtesy of Rocky Bing!  
  
"Some improvement? It looks like a hurricane and a tornado have struck." And now the coup de grace. I then drug in some heavy curtains that were blocking out the light. Ah….Let the sun shine in, the sun shine in….  
  
A little while later after Chandler's mom, Nora had phoned an agency and hired five people to clean up the house, she, Chandler and I went for a walk at the park.   
  
As we were walking, they were talking about what had happened. While I was acquainting myself with the area. Let me see, plenty of fat cats to chase, dog venders, water fountains, plenty of kids to trick them out of their food and *woof, woof* plenty of *Bow WOW* Come to me baby! Daddy's here! I then lunged at a pretty white haired poodle. But that rich bitch was just that. A bitch! Well, when you need it, don't come looking for me princess, ya snobby bitch! Chandler then got me under control and proceeded to drag me down another trail. Finally we stopped under an oak tree, they sat down on a stone bench while I had fun. But I could still hear their conversation. Dog's hearing RULES!  
  
"What am I going to do, mom? I could not stay with that job any longer. What was I suppose to do? Die at my desk? That was not going to happen." I was busy chasing down a butterfly. Then a man with a net started chasing me. I zigged when the butterfly zaged. And the man ran off after it. What's wrong WEIRDO? Can't find any NORMAL hobbies to do? Or better yet, GET A LIFE!  
  
"Chandler, no one was asking you to." I then was chased by a teenage boy wearing roller blades. Well I will teach him a thing or two. I grabbed him by his shorts and started to run with him down the sidewalk toward a small pond. Him being roller bladed backwards with his pants down to his ankles, he was not wearing any underwear and his girlfriend was laughing at him, the one he was trying to impress. Then I let go just in time to get away from him when he hit the water. He shoots, HE SCORES!  
  
"Yes they were. It has been this way all the time. Chandler stick with your job, You don't have the guts to leave it, and the list goes on. And when I do leave it, I get nothing but contempt." GRRRRRRRRRRR….Oh, hunger pains again, let's see what I can do."   
  
I got down on my stomach and crept up to a hot dog vender. Seeing the way the vendor had his wagon secured I KNEW how to get some food. All I had to do was to bump it just the right way. I started from a low hill, and with a flying leap bumped hard against the machine. The rock that was acting as a break gave way and it went rolling down the hill with the man running after it. It crashed in to a tree and I took off. The man seeing that there was nothing he could do for the machine took off after me, I outdistanced him in no time flat. Time to go back and claim my bounty. To the victors go the spoils. Hehehehe!  
  
"Honey, they just need time to adjust." The whole cart had a huge crack going down it and I helped or gorged myself to those delicious dogs, and bratwurst. Man those babies are good, they are meaty, they are juicy, they are fresh, they are…. HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT! I took off for the nearest water fountain. Gang way, big dog on campus coming through! Watch it squirt A little terrier had to jump into his owners arms to get out of my way. Finally I arrived at a fountain and got a drink. As soon as I was done, I lifted my leg to the base. Hey, nature calls!  
  
"What if they don't?" Just then I saw a couple of heavens, two twin female dogs and in heat! Right this way ladies! The dogs somehow got away from their owners and met me for a rendezvous. Had a lot of fun that was for sure! Soon after we were done I was walking and noticed that the owners had the dogs and were looking over them carefully. They then looked at me. Uh oh, I KNOW that look! I had better run!  
  
"They will, if not then you have my support." A little bit later when I ditched the gruesome twosome, a kid came up to me and put a rope around my neck. NO WAY! I then ran for help!  
  
"So me and Rocky can stay for a while?" I jumped up on his lap. He then petted me. I noticed at that time, we were not alone.  
  
"Well you, of course not….now Rocky….." She looked at the different people that had followed me over. Which included a police officer, the hot dog vender the two dog walkers, the kid with the roller blades and the kid and her parents. You are going to believe ME, right? Nora and Chandler just looked at each other. I take it you are not.  
  
Well Chandler got fined for me being a public nuisance damage to property (private and public) disturbing the peace and urinating in the public water fountain. HE was not a happy a camper after he saw the amount. He even had to make an appearance to a judge so he could determine what Chandler had to pay. Which turned out to be new roller blades and shorts, a new cart and food for the hot dog vender and had to make restitution for the female dogs that were in heat. They were going to breed them to some wimpy male to get prized pups. Well, not with my genes. HEHE!  
  
Soon after we arrived back, from the walk, Chandler got a phone call from a friend of his or ours. I really couldn't hear much, I was too busy eating. I did hear Chandler telling Joey to come on over.  
  
Once Joey arrived I ran over and jumped up into his arms. Almost knocking him over backwards. "I missed ya, Rocky." Yeah, me you too! As I licked him in the face. He then went in to sit down in a chair to talk to Chandler and to Nora. As he was talking I was doing my best to interest him in a game. To see Joey playing makes my day. I ran all over the place and stopped in front of him and gave a friendly growl. I grabbed his pants bottoms and tried to pull him up off the chair. He ignored me and continued to talk to Chandler and Nora. Finally: No more Mr. Nice Dog. The gloves were coming off the paws. And the nails were sharp. I took a running leap and propelled him and me and the chair backwards on to the floor. Told ya I would get you off the chair! Joey sat up looking disheveled and shocked. He then sat the chair up and sat down in it. You will never learn, huh?  
  
"Chandler I think your dog needs to see a psychiatrist." HA HA HA HA. Oh, Nora, you are SOOOO funny!  
  
"Mom, that is ok. I don't have money for much of anything, I quit my job, remember?" Thank you Chandler. "Besides he is just being himself."  
  
"Listen, Chandler I have some friends who have a dog that had similar problems and they took him to a dog psychiatrist, a Dr. Williams. And now the dog is behaved nicely." A doggie shrink? Not happening…..  
  
"Mom, he is fine. He is just a little active…." At that time, I had grabbed Joey's Knicks jacket and was running around with it with Joey chasing me. Told you that you wouldn't stay in that chair for long.  
  
"I will pay." Nora offered. Just then Joey and I were playing tug of war with the jacket and were both sliding down the hall and rammed headlong into a picture of a nude woman.  
  
"Fine just one visit." Chandler huffed. HUH? CHANDLER! Joey then grabbed the coat from me and the race was on again.  
  
Two days later I was in an office with a middle aged balding man standing over me. "Hello, Mr. Rocky. And how are you today?" He held out his hand for me to shake. I looked up at him as I jumped on Chandler's lap. The man then took out his recorder. "Very insecure and anti-social around people he does not know or trust."  
  
"Uh, doc, I don't believe all this hooky poky stuff, so can we just sit and have a nice conversation about the weather or something?" That's my man!  
  
"Pet is having the insecurities transferred from the owner." He talked to the microphone once again.  
  
"Oh, come on! You have more to your life than talking into some stupid recorder!" Pathetic, isn't he?  
  
"Mr. Bing, how am I suppose to help your dog, since you are part of the problem?" He then wrote something down on a slip of paper. Here is a name and number of a good psychiatrist. Take my advice and go and see him. Because like human babies pick up on the father's traits, so will a dog and will copy off him." What? Now listen here you, you, you…..  
  
"You overpriced tightwad. Don't you dare say anything bad about MY dog! He has just as much right to have fun as anyone else. And if you can not understand that, then it is you who needs help!" Tell him about it, my man!  
  
"I take it you are not coming back here?"  
  
"Rocky and I would have to be brought back in tied down." Most definitely.  
  
"Alright, but I got to warn you, your dog is on it's way to becoming a delinquent!"  
  
"Spare me the sarcasm. I am the KING of sarcasm! And for your information, psychiatrists have been telling my mother and father that for years about me. Come on Rocky." He then opened the door. Of course I left a little package of what I thought about this guy in the corner of his office and lifted my leg to his coat rack where his expensive coat hung. We both walked out.   
  
On the way home. Chandler sang 'Who Let the Dogs Out?' while I jumped around him and barked every couple of minutes. Everyone looked at us as though we were crazy As we walked down the sidewalk skipping and hoping to the tune. A police officer saw us and even walked up to us.  
  
"Uh sir, are you ok?"  
  
"Never better. I feel like I could fly!" Uh, Chandler, not a good idea.  
  
"Really?" He then turned toward another policeman. "Hey, Mark we got a live one." To say the least we had to go down to the police station. Where Chandler had to take a drug and alcohol test. He passed with flying colors. And a cop there by name of Gary vouched for him. So we were able to go home. The other police officers just looked at me and him as if we were both nuts. A few of the dogs or K-9s just gave me looks of contempt or dirty looks.  
  
The looks ranged from I wish I had the time to be do nothing like you, excuse me I have a job to do. What a bunch of weenies!  
  
Gary then squatted down to pet me. Congratulations on nailing that creep a while back, Rocky!"  
  
"He nailed someone, who?" The officer asked who brought us in.  
  
"The Cut Throat Cat Burglar." Gary replied. You could hear a pin drop and almost all the dogs looked at me with a mixture of disbelief and awe. "How did he do it Chandler?" Chandler then explained.  
  
Then all the policemen and the dogs looked at me with a changed attitude. "Hey, if you ever have to give him up, we would gladly take him." The police captain said after he heard the story.  
  
"Thanks anyway. But we are fine." yeah baby!  
  
Gary drove us to the townhouse all the while Chandler and him sang the song 'Who Let the Dogs Out?' with me barking along in the back of the car.  
  
When we arrived, Chandler invited Gary in. I ran Straight to Nora stopped and looked up at her. Hey, hot momma, what's shaking?  
  
"Nice digs." Gary muttered.  
  
"Thanks man. But tell that to my mom." They then walked over to Nora and me. "Mom, this a friend of mine. His name is Gary and he is a police officer."  
  
Gary lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. "You look beautiful, Mrs. Bing!"  
  
Nora blushed. "Oh, please Gary, call me Nora."  
  
"And no more kissing my mother. Got that?" Chandler stated through clinched teeth.  
  
"I was just being courteous."  
  
"Chandler Gary and I can talk, while you have a talk with Monica."   
  
"S-she's here?"  
  
"In the kitchen. She is making dinner. Tell her we have another guest to add."  
  
Chandler then walked off into the kitchen. Monica then turned toward him and sighed. "I missed you."  
  
"You and the others missed me making fun of myself and my pathetic job."  
  
Monica sighed again. "Honey, if you really want to have another job, then I am behind you all the way."  
  
"Why this change in attitude?" Yeah, why?  
  
"I remember you telling me what you felt like when I did not talk over anything with you. And now I know how you feel. And I do want you happy." Well, I can believe that!  
  
Chandler smiled, "So I am coming back home. One question. Joey told me how to find you, right?" Chandler lifted her chin up to where they were looking in each other's eyes.  
  
Monica smiled, "Yes, once he explained your side to me. I am so sorry I was being such a hag."  
  
"That is ok, Monica."  
  
"I love you."  
  
"Ditto." He then leaned in and kissed her very deeply. "The dinner?"  
  
"Has an hour and a half to bake." Monica then leaned him in again. And Chandler then drug her toward a bedroom that belonged to one of the maids. I started to go in. Monica pulled away from him. "I will NOT do it with an audience." Huh? Oh, me.  
  
Chandler then pushed me out. I was mad but then after listening to some grunts and moans I went to find Gary and Nora. Once I arrived Nora asked me where Chandler and Monica had gotten to. Then we heard Monica give a high moan.  
  
"I guess they made up." Gary stated. No shit, Sherlock.  
  
Then Monica gave a high pitched scream. "That's my boy!" Nora committed with evident pride in her voice. You try living with them and see how much sleep YOU get. We moved back in the next day.  
  
**********************  
  
The next one's the last chapter. Hope you liked the fic folks! 


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